whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
please don't ironically join a cult
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