its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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