Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
