so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
