i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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