Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
