I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
