Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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