I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
