My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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