Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
