Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize