Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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