Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
