We're facebook friends in real life
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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