you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
