hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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