You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
