yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
