when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
