Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(585): View more from New York

WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET

Fav 17 1311 5164
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal

Fav 18 1659 4298
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE

Fav 23 2498 6277
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.

Fav 19 7103 1440
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(402): View more from Nebraska

I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat

Fav 24 2703 3708
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(289): View more from Ontario

you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window

Fav 7 1886 1002
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.

Fav 4 1519 673
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences

Fav 1 791 535
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(607): View more from New York

got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles

Fav 1 21 18
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