I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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