Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
