hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Randomize
