if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
