Rock
Scissors
Fuck
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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