Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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