im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
