I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
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