I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
