im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
