He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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