New invention idea: vibrating tampons
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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