Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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