note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
