Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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