i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
She just used a chaser for red wine.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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