The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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