Me too!
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
