my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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