the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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