idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
one two three fourrrrnication!
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i drank out of a bidet.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
