Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
