Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
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when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
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I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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