I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
