I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
