he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
