I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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