is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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