Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
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