Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
