Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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