Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
