It's Friday. Sex?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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