it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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