So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize