you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
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