I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize