I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
