google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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