I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
