I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize